Heaven & Hell

Heaven & Hell

HEAVEN is where:
The police are British
The chefs Italian
The mechanics are German
The lovers are French
and it's all organised by the Swiss

HELL is where:
The police are German
The chefs are British
The mechanics are French
The lovers are Swiss
and it's all organised by the Italians!!

http://www.topfool.com/italian.html

Why are most Italian ...

Q. Why are most Italian men named Tony?

 A. When they got on the boat to America they stamped To NY (Tony) on their foreheads.

http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/italian-jokes

Why do Italian men ...

Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches?

A. So they can look like their mothers.

http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/italian-jokes

What s an innuendo?

Q. What s an innuendo?

A. An Italian suppository.

http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/italian-jokes

Why do Puerto Ricans ...

Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags?

 A. So Italians can go window shopping.

How can you identify ...

Q. How can you identify the Italian at the Cock fight?
A. He's the one who bets on the duck.

http://www.italiancook.ca/italian-jokes.htm

What did the barber ...

Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid?

A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/italian-jokes

If Tarzan and Jane were ...

Q. If Tarzan and Jane were Italian, what would Cheetah be?

A. The least hairy of the three.

http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/italian-jokes

How do you kill an Italian?

Q. How do you kill an Italian?

A. Smash the toilet seat on the back of his head when he is getting a drink.

http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/italian-jokes

What do you get when you cross ...

Q. What do you get when you cross an Italian and a Pollack?

 A. A guy who makes you an offer you can t understand.

How is the Italian version...

Q. How is the Italian version of Christmas different?
A. One Mary, one Jesus, and 32 Wise guys.

http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/italian-jokes

Why is Italian bread ...

Q. Why is Italian bread so long?
A. So they can dip it into the sewer.

http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/italian-jokes

Why does the new Italian Navy...

Q. Why does the new Italian Navy use glass bottomed boats?
A. So they can steer clear of the old Italian Navy.

http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/italian-jokes

How did they advertise...

Q. How did they advertise surplus W. W. II Italian rifles for sale?
A. "Never fired, and only dropped once."

What does FIAT ...

Q. What does FIAT stand for?
A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

http://www.italiancook.ca/italian-jokes.htm

Luigi and Paulo ...

Luigi and Paulo were fishing in the Mediterranean sea one sunny day when a World War II mine came floating along. On seeing this round, spikey object coming nearer and nearer, Luigi shouts at his friend " Hey Paulo, it's a mine, it's a mine!!!" Paulo replies " O.K. Luigi, you can-a have it!!! "
http://www.topfool.com/italian.html

How does an Italian count ...

Q. How does an Italian count his goats? A. He just counts the legs, and divides by four.
http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/italian-jokes

Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?
http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/italian-jokes

Why did the Italian ...

Why did the Italian staple his nuts together? "If you can`t lick `em, join `em" http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/italian-jokes

What do you call ...

What do you call an Italian with an I.Q. of 180? Sicily.

What language do ...

What language do the Vatican Police speak? Pig Latin!
http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/italian-jokes

What's the difference ...

Q: What's the difference between an Italian grandmother and an elephant?
A: 50 pounds and a black dress.

http://www.topfool.com/italian.html

How do you ...

How do you brainwash an Italian? Give him an enema.
http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/italian-jokes

Why don`t Italians ...

Why don`t Italians have freckles? They all slide off.

What do you call a ...

What do you call a pimple on an Italian? A grease fitting.
http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/italian-jokes